i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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