If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
