My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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