Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
