That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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