Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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