its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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