ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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