everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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