We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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