I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
