she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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