So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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