i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
