You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
4 words: hood of his car
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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