shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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