a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize