Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
