I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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