So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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