two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
