I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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