I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
