The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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