Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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