belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw a hot homeless man
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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