I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
