I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
