I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
two words...techno handjob
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
