I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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