I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
