So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize