Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
