just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
