I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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