your room smells of hookers.
And success
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
