I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
