So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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