You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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