So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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