so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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