It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
