Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
