remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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