apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
