So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
