Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
