yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
