she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
