What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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