So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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