Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
