hell yes lets make some ravioli
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
