I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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