halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
