It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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