well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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