I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
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