i wish my penis had a tongue
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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