I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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