Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize