If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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