Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
there is glitter all over my balls
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
