I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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