ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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