We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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