oh god the rape fog is back!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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