the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
