how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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