he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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