Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
